Slo Mo

It is now Thursday. My brother and I have been just over a week. The surgery was three days ago and time has slowed down. Yesterday they started waking him up. But really nothing happened. Nothing good, but nothing really bad. He slept, he urinated, they put a feeding tube in him. No bleeding, no trauma, just hour after hour of waiting for something. The goal at this time is to remove the breathing tube but that isn't going to happen today. He is not alert enough. We we look at him he's got his eyes squeezed shut, like he doesn't want to see what waiting for him, like he's unsure that its such a good idea to exit his dream world. I suspect its peaceful there. Perhaps there he runs through fields and feels no pain. If he opens his eyes thats not what he will see. Can we blame him for not wanting to give that up quite yet. We spend most of the day, but by late afternoon we are tired. Our backs have started to hurt from the chairs which are decent but we're not used to the endless hours of sitting. Particularly my brother who is on his feet most of the day. He is actually starting to feel sick. Maybe its from the waiting, maybe its from something he ate, but we leave mid-afternoon. We go back to the hotel and I write while he sleeps. Despair starts to creep in. Our own emotional reserves may be reaching their end. We sleep the same sleep as he does. In my dreams I am home and he is healthy again. When morning comes I don't want to open my eyes either.